Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Marking down March

So i haven't really been blogging as frequently as i thought i would, surprisingly. However it is of no shock at all to what I have been doing instead. Although I don't like to admit and I strongly prefer not to be this person at all, I usually start things and then just decide to not finish it, for whatever weak or good reason. Today, I decided to drop my philosophy class because I've kind of been "out of the loop" so far in this semester. Not to mention, I've received a warning via email by my professor recommending me to really take some serious action before I fail a course. In reference to my blog, however, I've actually opened up about  7 or so notepad documents and started writing potential postings. None of them are finished, all of them needing some serious editing. So this time around, I just decided to write on a whim just to experiment and see if it'll actually make it onto my blog. Sooo, let me talk about what's been going on so far in my life this month. 

Since last August, I've been battling it out with my weight. I was skinny in the summer, but certain circumstances had led me to gain just at around 50 pounds. This was a terrible blow to me, because my weight has always been an issue for me since childhood. Last year, I also had a modeling contract that I signed back when I was looking and feeling my finest. I knew that the agency I worked for wasn't going to be too pleased to see me slacking off in the matter that I did. I lost the contract, of course, because I never got seriously onboard with my old diet and exercise regiment. However, at the start of this month, motivation sparked back into me again and so far I've lost 10 pounds! Kudos to me! :) 

I'm probably am going to go into much more detail later in a different post about this particular situation, but my parents are divorcing. It's not really much of a sad divorce as it is brutal and raw. Tensions are high in the house where my parents were married and where my brother and I grew up in. Thankfully, my father moved out before the new year, but unfortunately he moved into the apartment that I had been borrowing from my grandparents. In addition to this change, I was forced back into the living hell that I'm living in today. I was so upset for being taken out of my haven; in that apartment that I had for the summer, fall and winter of 2010, I was able to escape from the unnecessary fights, stress and lowblows. My family is one to be known to have many years of counseling and anger managing. I was one who never could handle it and I knew I would be the first to run away from that place as things escalated to its peek. It's really not in me to fight or hurt someone in any sort of manner. Instead my anxiety levels rise, my heart starts to almost beat out of my chest and I begin to tremble from the anger and nervousness. Anywho, one thing I am notorious for is ignoring a person who I am extremely upset with, and this includes all forms of communication. My father and I didn't speak for 2 months because of the battle over the apartment. That was until 2 weeks ago, where I finally broke down and after several of his attempts to contact me, I decided to go out on a father daughter outing, like old times. My father and I were always very close, even when I was little and it doesn't kill me anymore to say that my mother and I were never close friends. At least some of my happy and relieve levels are back, now that my ol' pal and I are slightly running on good terms again. It is a process; like most people, I am very sensitive and some of my inner wounds needs the time to heal back to normal. In all, our little outing turned out to be peaceful and enjoyable- we went shopping, which is one of my more passionable activities. :D

Another major thing this month was obviously...... SPRING BREAK! I was originally planning on taking my first trip up to the nation's biggest fashion captial, NEW YORK CITAYY! Unfortunately, there was a lack of funds for all the people who were going with me and so the plans were cancelled. :( It was a bummer, I am a huge fashion enthusiast and I love the city. Not only did I wanted to explore the New York retail scene, I also wanted to check up on a school that I've recently discovered and have been really dedicating my Associates degree on. I want to transfer into F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology) for a bachelors degree in Entrepreneurship. This school is what I've been dreaming about for the past few months, I mean Micheal Kors came out of that school, how can that not be exciting? I am still going to take my trip to NYC and with my closest friends (my gay guys included) later on, this year. Instead of New York, I still did have a good time with friends, parties, drinks, shopping and of course the beaches (I'm in Florida.. DUh!). My best friend and I rekindled our tight bond and I am so happy and relieved for that, I really can not imagine any years of my life without her and the feeling of almost drifting away from her was so unbearable. 

March has been a very positive and motivating month so far this year and I really do hope I don't jinx myself in this, but it looks like the first mini step in a better year for me. Everything happens for a reason, I firmly believe that, and the reason is unknown to us but it is coming from a much greater purpose in your life. Hopefully, this month is one of the first good signs to brighter upcoming months for me!
Hasta la proxima! ['till next time..]

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